I talk with my mom on the phone almost everyday.. she is feeling better since yesterday and i hope that she will be okay soon. But i still i wanted her to go to other doctor for other opinions.
At least i am not that worried anymore.. i can now start concentrating on my school stuff`s since finals is getting closer.
I am just so happy that mom is doing better now.. I pray for her continuous recovery..
I love you so much mom ..

Worried..

I thought mom was okay after the operation she had last month but again she is not feeling well since the other day.. i am so worried again. I asked her to seek advice from other doctors since they are not giving her any medicine for her heart. I just can`t get it why dont they give her supplement for her heart since she is diagnosed to have a heart enlargement. The doctor said that the heart enlagrment was caused by what she have in her uterus..so why just they can`t remove her uterus then since it is all causing her heart enlagrment and high blood.
I love my mom too much and i dont want her to be sick. If only i could take some of her sickness so that she will feel better. She said she is okay but i know that she is worried too..i cant hear it from her voice. I do not know what to think, what to feel. The doctors said that her sickness is not that serious but still she is having palpitations. I hate the doctor they should do something now..
I am praying that mom will be okay soon. That she will be given treatment very soon since she is under observation.
Lord, please make my mom okay.. that she will feel better soon. Give her longer life. I ask for your healing power Lord, through the doctors who are treating her you will send your healing power and holy spirit, PLEASE USE THEM for the healing of all the sick. Please Lord, please let my Mom overcome what ever she have now. I pray to you Dear Lord for the healing of my mother. I love her so much.
Thank you Lord for all your blessings to us and please continue showering your blessings. Mama Mary please interceed my prayer..

I need some sets of wardrobe ..

Before i cannot admit to myself that i am fat.. but recently i so can feel it.. For medical purposes i went to the clinic 3 weeks ago to have a chest x-ray and unfortunately i also have to take my weight. I really never wanted to know how much i weight now but i have to .. and KA BLAM!!! it was like a big bomb to me .. i weight 53Kls... i feel so sorry for myself.
Recently i have been eating out...i have a lot of rice intake in a day so that adds to my weight. I am having problems every morning.. i cannot decide what to wear because i look fat on what ever i plan to wear. Sometimes ever if i wanted to wear what i think that is best for the day .. it does not fit me anymore .. I am really becoming depressed.. i dont know what to do .. yeah i do jog 3 times a week but i cannot resist eating lately. I always feel that i am empty so i have to eat..
I need some sets of wardrobe but i have a low budget for the month..i have to pay my rent and some bills so i think i need to really loose weight as soon as possible..
What shall i do? .. I dont know how to go on a real diet.. Please help...

Updates..

I have been busy lately.. last week (thursday) we went to this called "Kagaku Miraikan" in Odaiba. It was a trip with my school mates who are entering university next year. It was kinda odd because i am with kids but it was fun though i felt am 19 again :) .. After miraikan we went to Venus Palace, i was amazed because i felt like that i was in Las Vegas.. the building looks like some part of the ceasar's palace.. well i was with a classmate from Thailand who younger than me.. we took a lot of pictures and we were like crazy taking crazy shots..
Saturday.. i am off to Odaiba again with different set of school mates. These are the people who are entering Graduate School. We have to go there to attend the "Daigakuin Setsumeikai" which means we can ask questions to specific graduate schools regarding the availabilty of courses they offer. I am not planning to enter graduate school next year because i am planning to go to "Senmon Gakko" for a year before entering graduate school. I just attended the session because i thought that Erik would be there but unfortunately he was'nt. He is not planning to enter graduate school or what ever school after our language course. He is planning to look for a job after. Because i was with people who are older and almost same as my age the trip was not that fun. After taking some brochures of the specific school that i am interested to i just went back to the dormitory. After taking some rest i went jogging...

..Erik..

I thought it is just a normal day today.. i went to school with my new pink slippers.. i liked it so much.. i had a glimpsed of my crush today .. and i thought that was it..
After class i was preparing for my "E tegami club" but my phone suddenly rung.. It was my friend .. she said that they are planning to go fishing and that my crush asked her to call me and ask me if i want to join them...
But of course i felt my heart beat ( like i am still in high school (^_~).. of course without thinking twice i said YES.. i went to my sensei and cancelled my class..
I went fishing with my crush today and i feel so happy..he was the one who started the conversation with me.. he talked with me a lot and it is so not usual thing.. i've got to see his deep dimples, his cute smile.. but i was'nt able to join them for dinner because i have to meet a family member for an important matter..
I do hope that this will not be the first time.. i wish that this is a start of a good relationship..

"Superwoman"

I really love the song "Superwoman by Karyn White".. i really love the lyrics and if i am not wrong there was a Filipino version of it which is "Hindi ako si Darna" and i don`t know who sung the song.. (please leave a message if you happen to know)
Anyway there is a story behind the song for me..
I was into a 3 year relationship before and i felt that i was really like a "Superwoman" that time.. i did everything for that guy because i thought that he is really the one for me. I even sacrificed my own happiness for him. I was not able to concentrate on my studies because i always go out of the country just to be with him (though i am not blaming it all to him because i did it because i like to do it for him, but still i blame him for not even telling me to slow down and concentrate on my studies first)..anyway i even sacrificed on not visiting my family just for him. But still inspite of everything i have done for him he even had the guts to be with another woman. I said it was okay with me and then i gave him up. I thought i was okay but then i realized that i am not "Superwoman" at all.. i still can feel pain, and that i am only human. From there and then i realized that to love you don`t have to be a superwoman it is normal to feel pain and to be hurt. But it is not so normal to give everything, to do everything for the person you love, at least leave something for yourself so that if ever that relatioship won`t work at you`ll not feel that you are so lost like i did. Do not be a superwoman when you love do not think that you can do everything and do not try to do everything, let your partner do some works do.. if you can ask him to be Superman.
Now i am okay.. i am so over him, thanks to him he made me realize that i am human too.. i know that the relatioship did not work because he never tried to be "Superman"...

I hope that someday my "Superman" will come and by then i know that i can be "Superwoman" again ...

My first Blog

I am not good in writing but i want to write.. browsing some people`s blog made me want to write.. i am not sure what i will be writing on this blog but i guess that it will come naturally.. actually i should be sleeping now.. i should be resting because i will be having a long exam tomorrow but i want to start my own blog so here i am typing nonsense..

i want to write about everything.. maybe i will be blogging `bout my everyday life.. i will be making this blog as my diary.. my online diary..

i am now happy that i have my own blog.. i will try to update my blog everyday.. i will be writing anything..